It's nothin personal.It's just business.

Keep to that mantra n my shoulders will feel lighter : )

Yoga was pretty frustrtaing tis evening. Guess it's like a cycle : in the 2nd of 2 lessons in the week, she teaches motions very similar to those taught in the 1st, and so i'm more able to execute em, and the lesson's more fulfilling. The cycle has renewed itself today..

It's the eve of Merdeka Day tonite, but i feel too worn out (primarily from work... plus i hav to go in again tomorrow), so ditto that left-out-on-festive-nites feelin as well. But the day was alrite..tiring but alrite : )

Yellow Monday 黄色星期一

Is that the opposite of a black Monday? Had a surprisingly pleasant day at work today. : )

Havin heard a great part of their latest album, I now see why WeiFoong described Simple Plan’s songs as whiny. They do complain quite a lot. Perhaps music as a platform for critical observations is cool, but it aint so when it’s from the narrow viewpoint of an individual, or rather, a class of individuals. Their songs seem to be rife with teen angst. And the tunes and style of music were rather similar throughout the album. But there are some gems. As self-sympathizing as Welcome To My Life is, it does strike a chord when one feels that down.

The mainstream hits – Perfect and Untitled, do sound good. Crazy contains some acute observations on young girls’ obsession with their looks, and the media’s role in this. But I’d say it shies in comparison to Edison Chen (feat MC Yan)’s “Circus” (Ma Hei Tuen馬戲團) though. This one’s metaphoric criticism on how Hong Kong society is increasingly distracted by the face value of things. This album’s quite a gem by the way. Will write a full-blown commentary on it soon.

With only like 3 weeks left till I'm off back to manchester, i've gotta fast forward the spring cleaning.. in various aspects of my life.

erm..as for the dual-language title, it's just my attempt at practising my chinese and fully utilising that software : D

CoUgH...cOUgH...

Got back bout an hour ago from a hotel lounge in KL where they brought in bands, both local and Filipino, to play. Was a first for me. I expected it to be a relaxing experience and my cousin was raving bout the music…why not then? The music was generally alrite…the first group delivered a good rendition of…hmm…dunno the title of the song….think it’s the theme to CSI Miami… : p Well, these girls had powerful voices, with wide vocal ranges – I was particularly amazed at how they could sing songs written for guys. But then came the second group. I have to admit I was pretty turned off by their overall cheap hinging on slutty packaging. But one of the girls really shone when she sang a Malay rock song. But what kinda spoiled the mood for me was all the cigar n cigarette smoke comin from all directions, and watchin the sleazier side of the venue unveil itself (erm…let’s keep it at that…and, it’s not as bad as it sounds..). And I thought my tolerance for such smoke had increased havin studied in a certain college. Apparently not. It does still cause me much discomfort. Still felt the stinking stench on me long after I got home. Hmm….And I naively forgot bout the possibility of it at such a lounge... Also had a feeling I was the youngest person in the place tat nite... : p
…..on a brighter side, I managed to do some shopping today : ) Stocked up on tees and got a new pair of flats (shoes) : ) Haven’t shopped for quite some time (by my standards haha), so ‘tis satisfying..
Oh, and, the drive down to KL from Ipoh (my first) wasn’t so bad after all. Split the journey between WY and I and we managed to get here in one piece, slowly but surely : p amidst the horrible weather..hmmmph!.. it rained cats dogs less than an hour into our journey!
Can’t make it to the pre-departure briefing for Manchester-bound students I initially promised to help out with. Since we’re both inexperienced (highway-)drivers, it’d be better to start off before it gets dark…*Sigh*…And YY’s actuali come over from Sarawak…
Eyelids failin me..gotta go…..

heaven sent for 'bananas'

A friend has introduced me to a most useful software : NJ Star Chinese Word Processor, which can convert chinese words into pinyin (the phonetic equivalent of chinese characters), among others. You can later highlight a specific character to obtain its meaning in the software's resident dictionary. Another newly discovered feature (hence the chinese words in my blog and my msn nick : p) is...hmm....u know how u can type chinese words in microsoft word by insertin the pinyin and then choosin the appropriate chinese character ... People who don't know chinese will not be able to identify which character is the appropriate/relevant one. But this software provides the meaning of each possible character as well - ths enables one who only knows spoken chinese to actually produce a written document in chinese! And they even have a cantonese input method : D (which is great for me cos my spoken cantonese is much better than my almost non-existent mandarin vocab)
Oh, and, 'bananas' is slang for people who are yellow on the outside (chinese) but white inside - But then again, I generally don't think one should be labeled a banana merely because of his/her not knowing the chinese language.

被 人摆 上台？

It’s utterly frustrating to be thrown into a situation whereby you have to pick up after another’s mess. And you haven’t got a clue bout it (pretty much), but still have to. And everyone’s waitin for you to get your job done to get their job done and you try and try but what’s produced is questioned. And you really were just following instructions. And then what you’ve done becomes unnecessary. I admit to my incompetency, my shortcomings… I’m not the best person for the job and I feel like my appointment has brought much inconvenience and confusion. Sorry… Believe me, I’d much rather not do it. And I’ve seriously never been so distracted on the job before. My heart just doesn’t seem to be here. The initial boredom and now the pressure just alienates me. I’ve really gotta buck up nevertheless.

'Tis actuali the very 1st post I've ever written. And it's the first for this blog. The previous posts were actuali from my regular diary... just felt like fittin em in here.

Here goes....

I’m inspired to start a blog of my own, havin read some friends'. My first encounter with a blog was WT's. It was rather inspirational at times and did help keep me back on track when my resolve faltered, but it can be too philosophical and hence heavy at other times. But I was attracted to the natural manner of another 2 blogs I read, how their blogs became a platform to communicate with friends (friends would leave concerned/lighthearted comments, and the blogger would pen down his reactions in turn), how I, as a friend, got to know them more thru these blogs.
I guess a part of me yearns to reveal myself to others, to show them the Mun Wei beneath my reserved façade. But I have always held back, always. Am always afraid to show who I really am for fear others would dislike what they’d discover to be the real me. I once read an article (in the British Vanity Fair, I think) about Jane Fonda, which closing line commented on how we aren’t always fully ‘ourselves’ in front of others because deep down, we realize that that would make us less liked. Creepily enough, S sensed that I’m holding back a lot of myself and frankly asked me to just be myself in front of her and YY. “It’s okay,” she said. I gave no response, probably an innocent “I don’t know” look – I was in denial. But I’m thankful to have such an honest friend, and one who cared enough to reach out to me.
So I’m hoping that this blog would help me learn how to open up, to be in touch with my own feelings, to slowly unclasp the firm grip that holds my feelings away from others, to basically learn to be comfortable with who I am ‘in public’. And I don’t think I’d be truly comfortable with who I am until I am able to do that.

The first half of my day was spent in bed, writhing in pain and discomfort from a diarrhea attack. Good thing I recovered in time to join EH for a karaoke session at Red Box The Curve. But the afternoon was a bore and I had one of my bouts of irritability and impulsiveness. I just had to get to Damansara Perdana to get a piece of cake when I drove out to ta pau lunch. I just needed a sugar shot. I drove, wandering, a futile exercise for there was no bakery in sight. Even got lost on my way back to the Tesco area. Good thing they had a drive-thru Dunkin Donut outlet at the petrol station. Wolfed down the 2 donuts on my way back. And then wolfed down a Big Mac for lunch. But I forgave myself : I only had a measly hard-boiled egg for breakfast.
The karaoke session was alrite. It feels very relaxing and comfortable hangin out with EH. Like I could totally be myself around her and not bore her out even if I dun say a thing. The rock fans that we are, EH and I played lotsa Beyond songs at Red Box today, just for the sake of watchin Beyond sing really, yelling along as well. Man, I love those guys. They really fill me with a sense of energy and ‘Butt Zoi Yau Yi” (Hesitate No More) never fails to inspire me. The guitar intro just swept me off my feet at their Stadium Merdeka concert 2 years ago and it never fails to spark off the adrenaline in me every time I hear it now. I remember how I even cried listenin to this song when I was in Manchester. It was a lonely winter afternoon and I played it on my discman. I was struggling with last-minute revision, plagued with doubt as to whether this is the course for me and all that shit. And hearin this song… which spoke of dreams, my heart ached - I realized I have none. The first line of the song summed up my dilemma : “Moe liu mong gin liu yau yi” (One sees doubt when one is idle).
Which is why that internship was so good for me. Being in a place where there are people who are passionate in what they do and love their job made me think : This is something I wanna do. Legal practice isn’t as shadowy as some critics (including my father) say and idealists do have a place in the world (well, maybe not in the beginning, but I think I will someday be in a position to stand by my principles and not lose out too much financially). Mr L’s integrity consoled me and I was truly inspired by S’s zeal and optimism. The experience at the firm provided me with a concrete goal to work towards, so putting my studies into perspective. Now I have a driving force to keep me back on track should there ever be a similar lonely winter afternoon ; )
Back to Ipoh tomorrow. Before, I felt liberated, living here. Living in KL allowed me to regain the freedom I had in Manchester but lost in Ipoh. Daily dinners at grandma’s and the need to not be out too much became stifling at a point : I can’t stay on at e-box with KM and all cos I had to be home for dinner. I can’t go out and do this cos I need to fetch C from school. And so on and so forth. Here, I can just stay on for dinner with friends after work and go out as and when I want to. Just drive off anywhere on a whim. It felt librating! (sounds like one selfish teenager eh?) But now that I no longer work at Skrine and C’s sloppiness is getting on my nerves, I miss the comfort of home. Gonna go back and be daddy’s girl and a couch potato tomorrow *silly grin*. And finally watch all those American tv series the others are raving about.. *sigh* the tv-deprived.. And of course I’ve got to make it a point to help Mom keep the house and bring the dogs for daily walks (must!) and keep the car in good condition (never realize how bad your car looks until you need to give ppl lifts)…
Ciao now!